It’s been more than 20 days since I decided to start a new experiment. On this occasion, a test about lifestyle and personal development. One that I wasn’t sure to do or not, for that reason I didn’t hesitate for a moment to start it… I called it Do what you hate in the short version. And Do what you hate as if you loved it for 20 days, in a more extended and more descriptive version.
Do what you hate – the experiment
Well, here I am, 30 days later, with a report on what I have been through during and after twenty days trying to turn everything I didn’t like doing, into something reasonable. Mentalizing myself with what I didn’t feel like doing was what I had to do the most of. Making sure I found everything I didn’t want to do by, guess what, doing it. Being conscious and disciplined in identifying what I hated to live the most, and love it. I didn’t think this was going to take me so far.
I have followed, somehow, the scientific method, so I have divided it into three parts: before, during, and after.
Before “I’m going to do it” – part 1
Here’s the starting point for Do what you hate; why start this experiment, why do what you hate, why go against myself, why go to the opposite side of where I should go. Well, that and others “shoulds” are quite relative and subjective. Why… How do you know if it is what you have to do or not? What guides the decision of what you want or not? What is the real reason to like or dislike something? The lines that define one reality or another in our lives are not at all clear, even if it seems otherwise.
The idea of doing it came up at Christmas while I was on my third Vipassana meditation retreat.
Before that, I didn’t have such a deep awareness of why I did something I didn’t like or why I did it.
During “I’m doing it” – part 2
In this section of Do what you Hate, first, you will find what I have done day by day throughout the period. These are the actions that I have carried out, arguably against my will. What are typical situations I wouldn’t have done, what I would have avoided, what I would not speak, touch, or face?
Things that horrify me, rejection, hatred (too intense of a word), or any item that does not resonate with me, for whatever reason.
The truth is, and I advance a conclusion here, is that everything is a mirage, a great lie in our mind. A prism that makes us consider everything in a dualistic way, a nonexistent duality. I have realized that there is nothing that I don’t like, I don’t feel like, I don’t want to do, I hate or even don’t know how to do. The only thing that happens is that we don’t face it.
20 days doing what I would never do
Every action during Do what you Hate explained:
- Do sport around Albacete in really short pants and no shirt on, at 6º temperature.
- Get to the room and take a cold shower.
- Arrive 20 minutes late to the course I teach.
- Arrive after working on the Excellence Program for unemployed people from 9 am to 12 am and work until 1:38 am, precisely because I wanted to go to sleep.
- Give heartfelt kisses and sincere hugs to all the participants at PEIG Albacete.
- Wake up an hour earlier than I should have.
- Stop for 25 minutes when I felt most focused and energized.
- Read at a conference.
- Do something you knew you didn’t have to do when presenting at a conference.
- Stay two and a half hours longer when I didn’t want to work.
- Be active when I wanted to take a nap.
- I wanted to wake up at 8 am and woke up at 11 am.
- I wanted to drink water in the morning when I woke up, so I didn’t drink water until 3 pm.
- Also, I was going to fast all day and decided to break it the moment I realised that I didn’t want to break it.
- I didn’t want to be influenced by anyone before the talk I gave in Tarragona, and I asked a person to tell me what they would like the conversation to be about.
- I set it up as a result of that opinion.
- It was the case that I wanted to pay attention while another speaker was presenting and what I did was work.
- When I arrived I didn’t want to eat before going to bed, so I have eaten and quite a lot, to the point of not feeling well.
- I wanted to get up at 7 am and ended up getting up at 11 am, being (awake) for two hours in bed without doing anything or moving.
- Break my Great Morning and do nothing, just because I wanted to do it, like meditating (for years I have not meditated – in fact since I started in 2013)
- Radically change my talk in Zaragoza in a matter of minutes, after having in mind a dynamic and theme which I was going to revolve around- and improvise in a matter of minutes.
- Being hungry and wanting to break the fast and not do it.
- Being invited to a restaurant with the entire WITL team and wanting to spend time with friends, and say “no” and come to the room.
- Run a hot bath with salts to relax and postpone it for 2 hours to work in the meantime from 22:00 to 00:14.
- I didn’t eat or drink anything from waking up to the next waking up. Coming from a fast the day before, especially when I felt that I was thirsty and hungry.
- Wanting to do sports during the day and not doing any sports, instead, work harder.
- Wanting to rest and work.
- Just when I was more focused professionally speaking, I stopped everything and meditated for 30 min.
- I gave a completely different talk (in San Sebastián) from what I had in mind.
- Being cold when I get home, wanting to turn on the heat and not turn it on.
- Making decisions that I knew would harm me.
- Invest time in distractions, so I don’t have time to do the things I want to do.
- Extend the 3rd online course of the Ultraproductivity Method by 1:20h
- Last night, I needed to sleep comfortably, so I went to sleep on the floor.
- Today was cold, and I didn’t feel like going out to do anything, so what I did was go running without a shirt or shorts – the shortest usually with a swim in the sea for 4:50 min.
- I didn’t feel like running on the wet sand, so I ran barefoot and rolled around in it.
- In the end, on the 4th day of fasting, I wanted to break the fast, so I continued and will continue until I wake up tomorrow.
- I did an hour and a half of cycling that I had not planned, just because I was tired.
- And I increased my plank, ab work, and downward-facing dog pose (yoga) by 2 minutes because I wanted to finish quickly.
- I didn’t feel like taking a shower before doing sports in the morning with frozen water, so I did it before and after.
- Also, I did not want to go up the stairs when I came back with my shopping, so I went up the stairs.
- I did not want to go on a motorcycle (I have little experience) to the shiatsu session, so I downloaded an APP, and rented a bike and went on a bike.
- I didn’t want to have a meeting at 1:30 am, so I scheduled it for that time.
- And I didn’t want to have a meeting for more than 15 min, so I had a 44min meeting.
- Waking up at 7 am and forcing myself to stay awake for two hours without doing anything.
- Stop working when I was most into it, and do nothing for an entire hour.
- Take a cold bath at night before sleeping, instead of a relaxing hot tub.
- Wanting to shave my head before leaving the house because I’ve had long hair for a few days, I don’t like it, so I left it unshaven and I left in discomfort.
- Not wanting to leave the house in pyjamas and end up going out in pyjamas.
- I didn’t like sharing this, so I posted it on social media.
- Wake up at 6 am, meditate, have my Great Morning, get active and when I went to work, I went to sleep for 2 more hours (although for some this is a pleasure, or you may feel like it is, but I didn’t feel like it at all)
- Looking for the most trivial and low priority tasks of the day and spend three times the time that I would normally pay, which has led me to an unproductiveness that I have not experienced for years, to such an extent that it has become very destabilizing.
- Being exhausted, emotionally and mentally from the great effort of wasting so much time and then recovering it, and continuing until the end of the day (1 am) when I wanted to leave and end the day four times.
- I have gone to do tasks that I did not have for today in order to blur my focus.
- I have moved four meetings with almost no time to react to it. Neither me or the other people.
- And I have done everything possible to get mad.
- Posting four videos in a row in a day on Instagram was something I didn’t want to do.
- Wanting to get up at 9 am-10 am and end up getting up at 5:55 am.
- I don’t feel like having dinner and purposely had a big plate of rice with vegetables, quinoa, egg and hummus with rice cakes.
- Being sleepy and wanting to go to sleep whilst my eyes dropped for 90 minutes until I literally couldn’t stand it anymore.
- Not wanting any entertainment and watching four series for the first time late at night.
- Turn off the alarm clock and wake up when I wake up, which causes me great discomfort, due to the possibility of not getting up early.
- Wake up at 11 am.
- Going out for a run being cold and uncomfortable, that’s why I took off my sweatshirt and t-shirt, being half-naked around 6 pm.
- Wanting to sit on the couch for a while around 10 pm and carry on working until 01 am.
- Not wanting to invest time in people who do not contribute to me and call all of them for around 10 to 15 minutes.
- Receive a telephone operator call and talk for 20 minutes without feeling like it.
- Not wanting to reply to Instagram messages today, Friday, and do so for 1:10h.
- Leaving everything I had to write, personal projects, writing texts for various projects, web content and editorial projects for tomorrow because I thought it would be easier for me that way, and end up doing everything until I finished it.
- Do the second day of fasting when I felt like just doing one.
- Get up early, have my Great Morning, and be aligned with the time, work and focus, and go to bed again for 90 more minutes to get up late and not be comfortable with the feeling.
- Change my effective work routine and start with the most ineffective and unproductive tasks.
- Just when I was in “flow. I disconnect everything at 7 pm and do nothing until 01 am, meditate, listen to music, think and lie down.
- Leave everything messy before going to bed, even though I felt like I wanted to pick it up earlier.
- Letting go of my own control over the music I was going to listen to and what I was going to do in that “do nothing” period.
- Wear red, go to H&M, buy a red sweater, red pants and order red sneakers on Amazon.
- Go for a walk with my mum and my grandmother in pyjamas.
- Dismantle all the furniture that I have not wanted to dismantle in a year, from 4 pm to 9 pm.
- Eat fideuá, the food that I have avoided eating all my life.
- Watch Sálvame, that has, unfortunately, been recommended to me on Instagram.
- I didn’t want to watch any entertainment so I watched Sálvame for 30 minutes.
- I wanted to be productive, so I went to buy an encoder and cable to watch TV for 2 hours.
- Also, I wanted to get a taxi from Alzira to the station, that’s why I walked there, although it took 1:20h.
- I didn’t go to three appointments I had for the afternoon, that’s why I didn’t go.
- I wanted to take a relaxing bath, so I didn’t take it.
- Not wanting to respond on weekdays to people who ask me things on social media platforms, and end up responding for two hours on Twitter.
- Not wanting to answer 25 questions at 10:05 pm, and end up answering all of them.
- Wanting to eat at 2 pm and not eating until 11 pm
- Wanting to get down to business in a meeting and urge the client to talk as much as possible and give all kinds of small details.
- Tell myself “do what you hate” and then do five things I loved.
- Wear the clothes that seemed the most uncomfortable for me and the clothes that I least wanted to wear, and the colour I least wanted.
- Not doing 60% of all the tasks I wanted to do and had scheduled.
- Not going to bed early despite wanting to go to bed early, at 2 am.
- And not wanting to check social networks, email, and social messaging after serenity as usual and do it until already in bed before going to sleep.
- Wanting to say “yes” to a business proposal and end up saying no.
- on wanting to give a free conference to someone who tried his luck, and end up saying “yes.”
- Not wanting to start a collaboration with someone who knew that it would not benefit me and end up doing it.
- Meditate lying down when I wanted to meditate sitting up as usual.
- Wake up at 7 am and go back to sleep until 11 am, after waking up in the morning.
- Enter a work meeting with hardly even starting the morning; I never do meetings until I have worked, I have had my Great Morning, I can let the outside in, this time I have done it in reverse, and I was very uncomfortable, there was a moment that I even wanted to leave the meeting. I identified it and loved it, and continued.
- Explain to the participants in the meeting the significant discomfort I was feeling, something that I didn’t feel like at all.
- Wanting to explode due to three important events that I felt emotionally hurt me, breathing, and letting everything go.
- Changing my whole daily routine and mixing it up as much as possible to be able to “fall apart” as much as possible, because I think that there is nothing that I want less than that.
- I wanted to continue working at night, so at 10 pm, despite knowing that I had not done everything I should have done, I disconnected everything.
- My preference was to get up early, I got up at 6 am, I had my Great Morning, exposed myself to cold water, did all of my cognitive work, and just when I
- I was ready to work; I stopped for 100 minutes, leaving the whole schedule to run and feel like I was late.
- Make calls and send follow-up and sales emails to interested people for micro MBA and Modo Extremo, something that I identified that nobody had done, something I do not like to do, I do not want to do and it has to be done.
- I wanted to disconnect at 9 pm, and here I am at 1 am non-stop.
- I wanted to enjoy being at home, and I forced myself to go out every two hours from a considerable onwards until 10 pm.
- Also, I had the idea to work on my friends’ birthday present and I have done nothing.
- I did not want to put into practice an idea that I had had this morning meditating, and I have forced myself to deposit as much time as necessary to carry it out.
- I didn’t want to receive phone calls and forced myself to call people I wouldn’t talk to every 15 minutes.
- And I had no desire to record the podcast today and I recorded it.
- I didn’t want to do a 5-minute Tai Chi class at 00:45, and so I did a 20-minute class.
- Advise as if you were a doctor, advising what others should do.
- I stayed up until 1:30 am working on projects for friends when I wanted to be in bed early.
- Record some work videos today (Saturday afternoon) when I wanted to record them on Tuesday.
- Eating pizza when I didn’t feel like eating anything.
- Talk for the sake of talking for 30 minutes when I wanted to be silent.
- Not napping when I was so tired.
- Spending money buying things I didn’t feel like and didn’t need.
Of course, before starting this experiment, I would have told you that these are things I would not do in normal situations, but the best thing is that nothing is normal anymore. The fact that you do what you hate, makes you consider that anything that has a minimum logic, and that does not put our life in immediate danger.
In this post, written after 13 days of the experiment, I was honest about what I was experiencing, how I felt, and what was changing in me. Basically, and in summary, I felt more serene and more unflappable. My self-awareness and determination went over the roof, and I also felt a significant elimination of judgment (internal and external), doubts, and limitations.
Do what you hate, that’s it.
After “I’ve done it” – part 3: conclusions about Do what you Hate
Firstly, and always starting with the end in mind, at the end of each day. I recorded my thoughts on what I had done, what had happened, and how I was acting and reacting.
Everything that you seem to hate is a movie that you make up in your head, so you don’t face reality. Example: Watching Sálvame (for 30 minutes) may come to your liking, especially since it helps you realize what a mediocre and vulgar culture it represents.
Doing what you don’t like doing is the same as doing what you love, but the difference is not just the preference of doing something more or less aligned with your tastes. No, the difference is only in a category called “I like it,” and in another one that says, “I don’t like it.” You don’t like getting up at 3 am but yes, at noon, or the other way around, but the statistics say that you are going to go through both extremes, and when you do, you will suffer.
On the other hand, if you don’t differentiate between one extreme and the other, how can you lose? You can’t.
Your preferences, favoritisms, or tastes are what may be preventing you from standing out in a job or exceeding expectations with family or clients. Mainly because they blind you, they put a blindfold on your ability to consider any valid perspective. Here is an excellent door to practical wisdom.
Wanting or not wanting is irrelevant if it is necessary for your soul. And you know when it is, if you ignore it, you will suffer.
There are no limits for those who do not know how to stop. There are no barriers for the person who does not have them. Nor obstacles when you don’t know when they are called that way.
Do what you hate, and you will never have to worry about a problem again. Do what you don’t like, and you will stop being anxious about getting what you like. And do what you don’t want to do, and nothing can stop you from getting what you want. Use yourself, for pure delight, in what you do not feel like doing, and you will lose the notion of worry.
Friend, reader, do what you hate. I repeat, do what you hate, and do it daily, several times, at first, it’s hard. It’s not appetizing, but you realize that you can do it. Then, you start to like it, and that is when you will make everything you need to do, happen, and you don’t do it because you do not like it, do not feel like it or do not want to do it.
Do what you hate as if you love it because you have no other choice if you want to excel.
Do what you hate for ten days, and you will see what happens.